WHY I MEDITATE EVEN THOUGH I SUCK AT IT.

What’s up, Emeneffers?

Thanks for checking out my blog! This is my very first blog post ever. I hope you can find some value here, or at least a good laugh. My intention with this post is to offer a little clarity regarding meditation by dispelling a commonly held misconception about its purpose. I also offer some practical tips for developing a daily practice.

Enjoy!

I have been a meditator off and on for the past 11 years, but didn't solidify meditation as a consistent daily practice until about a year and a half ago. My first few years playing around with meditation were pretty arbitrary - I felt like I understood the benefits of meditation, and maybe kind of how to sit, and to be some where quiet. That was about it. My mind raced like crazy and an annoying voice would tell me “you suck at this”. Um, OK.

Then in 2012 my father passed away, and I finally mustered the courage to sign up for a 10-day silent meditation retreat I’d had in my peripheral for awhile. It was a long, intense, grueling, beautiful rollercoaster growth experience, and I came out feeling like I had a much better grasp of what the fuck to actually do while I was sitting, and I definitely wasn’t discouraged by my hyper AF monkey mind.

I also started to notice how many other people seemed somewhat misguided about the purpose of meditation. One of the most common rebuttals to meditating that I would hear was:

“I've tried to meditate, but I can't even shut my brain off for 5 minutes, so I just gave up.”

WELLLLLLL PEOPLE!

FRET YE NOT- I’m here to set the record straight! The point of meditation, if I may be so bold to declare, is not to quiet your mind, but to simply observe what is.

So if what is is your mind racing mercilessly, then that is what you are observing!

Regular meditation practice can certainly result in a well-trained, less discursive mind over time, but a meditation session thick with thoughts is not a failure, and should not discourage you from continuing to practice. It is not a practice to approach with a "gaining" idea.

So then, how TF do I do this, exactly?

Here’s what I’ve learned that works for me:

• Meditate in the same place every day. I love the idea of creating an environment specifically for meditation - a special cushion, maybe an altar of some sort. This is your time every day to be fully present with yourself, it is sacred. Make a sacred space for it. (Admittedly, I’ve moved from my altar to my bathroom floor lately? ) Be sure you can sit comfortably upright wth a neutral spine as much as possible. I do not recommend laying down, as this can make it easy for you to succumb to sleepiness.

• Set reasonable goals. For beginning meditators, I recommend starting with a short session time - this will improve the likelihood that you’ll actually do it. It is much easier to follow through with a commitment of 10 minutes a session vs, say, an hour. Be honest with yourself about what you will realistically show up for, and start there. If you end up sitting longer, great. If not, great. Just stay consistent. The objective to start is frequency over duration.

• Abandon expectations - forget the “Gold Standard”. I don't know if I’d go so far as to say there’s no such thing as failure in meditation, but I’d go ALMOST that far. If you sat down in a quiet place with few distractions, closed your eyes and observed your mind and senses for any duration, then you were successful. There may be some intention, but you aren’t attached to an outcome.

• Sit down, close your eyes, and bring your attention to your breathing. Yep, that.

• Don’t beat yourself up for getting carried away with your thoughts. If you're like me, you’ll notice this happening a lot. You’re spinning off on “the thing.” It can be normal for this phase to last for quite a while before you start to see the habituation shift. Give the process space to unfold slowly, and remember that you've likely been spending the better part of your life engraining these habits, so it might take a while to reverse them. THIS IS NORMAL.

• Bring yourself back to your breath gently, without judgement. When you do notice that you've been hooked by your thoughts, simply acknowledge that you've been hooked, maybe by labeling it “thinking”, and bring your attention back to your breathing. I like to use a phrase I picked up from Pema Chodron:

“My thoughts are like clouds in the sky - I watch them as they roll by.”

You see the clouds of your thoughts, but you're not chasing them or letting them carry you off.

• Forget the idea that your discursive thoughts will disappear. Consider the possibility that the solution is not “getting rid of” your thoughts, but learning how to see them without feeling compelled to react. Don't believe everything you think. This is an incredibly valuable practice that can also be applied anytime you feel “triggered”. (So fucking triggered!!!!)

• Quit taking yourself so seriously. If you don't get that, I don’t know what to tell you!

• Repeat.

Here is a link to a talk by Pema Chodron explaining it way better than me:

https://youtu.be/yRvl7XyiL8Q

I hope you get hooked on her, I know I did!

Welp, I’ll wrap this up with a little quote for you to chew on:

“If you don't go within, you go without.”

Happy meditating, my friends - and be gentle out there!

*Disclaimer: I in no way consider myself a meditation expert, I’m just here sharing what I’ve learned - these are recommendations based on my personal experience. I always encourage you to do your own research on any lifestyle or behavior change you are considering, and come to your own conclusions about what is best for you.

Your comments and feedback are also welcome and appreciated, just don't be an emotional infant ‘round these parts, please. Namasté, bitches!